a DIY on creating your own closure
I should be studying for exams, and I have ramen noodles cooking on the stove, but here I am in front of my laptop. I guess it’s good that I take a break considering the fact that I got out of an exam not too long ago, and my brain is fried.
I often find myself telling myself that I am too busy for writing when instead I should be integrating it into my routine under the guise of “self-care.” Maybe it really is no guise after all. I don’t really remember the day I turned the therapeutic act of writing into an arduous task. Maybe I became too concerned with delivery, message, and routine-- so concerned that I stopped completely.
Hm. (Weird flex, but ok???!)
My ramen is done cooking (made them perfect this time-- soft, but not too soft. And not too much water, either!), so I guess we can get into things now.
Closure is the topic of the day.
It always amazes me how quickly we are ready to give up our sense of agency and make it someone else’s duty to mend our lives back together. This happens often in the dissolution of sexual or strictly platonic partnerships. After shit goes left, we try to convince ourselves that we really want answers and to know where we could have possibly went wrong when we are just awaiting a grand gesture that will actually never reveal itself.
You shouldn’t wait for someone to use their words to tell you what they have already shown you. Do you really think their words will be that far off from their behavior and actions? Why allow yourself to be so easily manipulated?
I understand that what we really want is to feel better. What we really want is another chance. What we really are doing is placing our happiness into someone else’s hands and opting to live in a painful state of vulnerability.
Not everyone is willing to fix what they have broken, so when it comes to your heart and your sanity, you must do the work of the repair.
Give yourself closure. Place the pieces of your life back together on your own. Use your brain to piece together the reasons for their actions instead of waiting for them to explain it.
At the end of day, no one owes you a damn thing, and that’s the cold reality of it. Closure is the gift that you must give yourself.
I promise you that you are way, way, way more stronger than you think.