#storytime: "so, the heaux is pregnant?"


Finding out that you got cheated on is some shit, but cracking the code to hack into his Yahoo inbox and finding out that he has a babymama (pending) is some real shit.

I once dated a man that was so insecure that he often took out his aggressions on me. When I found the strength to speak up and defend myself, he armored himself with innocence and victimhood. This was our routine-- it was our tumultuous cycle with no clearly marked escape route.

Hell hath no fury like a man drippin’ in insecurity. I think we’ve all dated him-- but if you haven’t then beware. He is the man that draws you in with his charm. He’s attentive, he’s kind, he’s too good to be true. He gets you gifts often. He’s always available to talk. Maybe he was made for you. It’s always some “too good to be true” shit, and yeah, it definitely always was too good to be true.

One day, I decided that I couldn’t take anymore, and so we took a break. We made it clear that we would take some time away from one another, but we would not be having sexual relations with other people. That was the one thing that I made clear to him throughout his emotional distress and various episodes. Although I had felt like the relationship had deteriorated, I wasn’t going to do that to him.

But sometimes things don’t go as planned. Ain’t that a bitch.


Fast forward to a week or two later, we were as back to normal as we could possibly be-- going on dinner dates, watching movies, hanging out at the house, and all of that. Things were...aight. I quickly noticed that he would often get phone calls and/or texts from a female friend of his. When he did answer, he would tell her that he was at my house and that he couldn’t speak to her. She knew about me, and she knew about our status. To be honest, I didn’t feel any type of way. I guess even though our relationship wasn’t the best, I still trusted him in some sick way. Their communication left me unscathed.

Unscathed until…

Homeboy decided to take a social media break because he was traveling. For some reason, he left me with his passwords, and he asked me to check something for him while he was on the road. Looking back, this was sorta dumb, but hey, we were young. I logged into his account in search of what he requested when all of a sudden, a Facebook message pops up from the madam who was blowing up his phone. I told her that it wasn’t him and that he wouldn’t be checking his accounts for a while. I politely asked her if I could assist her. She responded-- kinda abrupt, kinda rude. I told him about the interaction, and he claimed that he didn’t know why she was acting so strangely.

Yeah. Okay. Immediately upon hearing his response, I decided to hack into his Yahoo account because something was making me uneasy.

What did I see? A thread of e-mails that he forgot to delete between him and homegirl-- specifically the one stating that she was pregnant.


Kibrett FaceyComment