self-love is a revolutionary act

It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit.
— Eartha Kitt

Loving yourself is a revolutionary act. If you cannot look within yourself and fall in love with what you see, then you will continue to be blinded by what others tell you exists.You will also naturally become a bitter person. When you begin to fall in love with yourself, you will begin to receive people and situations in your life that reflect and support that love. Conversely, if you don’t engage in self-love, you will welcome people and situations into your life who also do not believe in your true worth. 

It may seem like common sense, but the harmful relationships we welcome into our lives are often manifestations of how we feel about ourselves. Of course, there are some situations that we do not have control over, but when you have achieved true self-love, you are able to realize that an uncontrollable situation does not dictate your worth. You are still magical irregardless of what is thrown your way. You are overthrowing negativity in favor of self-love. This is a revolution.

So, how do we get there? These are just a few of the things that help me:

  1. Practicing positive self-talk everyday.

    Now this may sound silly, but every morning when I wake up, I look at myself in the mirror and give myself a compliment or two. Sometimes I even say these things out loud. Phrases range from “Wow, Kibby. You really are *that* bitch!” to “You’ve been doing really well this week. I’m so proud of you.” It’s really whatever floats your boat. 

  2. Date yourself.

    Treat yourself the way you would want someone else to even if you’re in a relationship! Don’t frame Netflix binges as wasted time. Instead consider it a date and add some wine! Look up a recipe, and cook yourself a nice, inexpensive meal. There are so many ways that we can be kind to ourselves, and they all should be experienced guilt-free. Enjoy your company the way you would enjoy someone else’s. Try to see the good in yourself especially if you would always assume the best in someone else.

  3. Slowly integrate healthier habits.

    I’m not asking you to magically become vegan-- and many people who do jump into healthier lifestyles actually quit the lifestyle before it becomes a habit. It is as simple as choosing to opt for a bed of salad instead of rice when making a meal. Perhaps it starts with you ordering a “flavor shot” instead of a sugary syrup when getting your daily coffee at Dunkin Donuts. Maybe it means just walking for 30 minutes every other day-- or dancing along to Bey’s “Homecoming” for 30 minutes a day. Start slow, and then slowly build.

  4. “Believe in your flyness, conquer your shyness.” - ‘Ye

    I don’t care what anyone says, but looking good can really transform your day-- especially when you’re stuck in the monotony of a full-time job. If you think you look good, you will feel good. Plan all of your outfits the night before! You can even use the Sunday prior to plan out your whole week. It will save you so much time and lift a weight off of your shoulders. This does not have to be expensive. Go thrifting and grab some skincare and beauty goodies at the drugstore! Remix things that you already have. One thing I love doing? Using lipsticks that I haven’t worn in a while as cheek blush! Fellas, grab a face mask and some moisturizer! No one is exempt from practicing their skincare routines, so don’t let your overzealous bond to masculinity have you out here looking rough!


Obviously, this isn’t the comprehensive guide to achieving self-love, but these are a few activities that have really helped me (especially with the start of the semester). Fellas, there are certainly things for you to pull from here as well. Achieving self-love is something that we all should aspire to. Will you join the revolution?


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